Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Teaser Tuesday {1}

So there's been this weekly meme floating around the AW forums & the blogosphere, Teaser Tuesday, where one shares snippets of a WIP or a SNI for feedback.

I've been meaning to hop aboard this bandwagon for awhile now, but what school and night class and other activities, hadn't gotten around to it. But today -that changes!

This is from
Red Herring, a YA contemporary mystery. Feedback is appreciated very muchly ;)
_________

Cherry settles into the driver’s seat and pops the key in the ignition. The ancient engine roars to life, crackling the previously quiet night like a whip. She turns to me, her eyes dancing with life. “Let’s have a little fun.”

I reach over and fumble around in the dark for the radio knob, cranking up the volume. I can feel the vibrations of the music’s bass line thrashing through me. Beauty. “Aw, yeah!” I holler.

She guns the accelerator and we shoot forward down the street. I lose all sensation of time and place as we zoom forward, fast. Cherry’s hand is groping the air beside me, and then she clutches the neck of the bottle, taking it from me. She tries to bring it up to her lips, misses, and then finally tips it back, sloshing some down her shirt front.

Suddenly I notice the temperature. It’s stifling in the car. I roll down my window.

Cherry laughs, then lobs the bottle out my window, nearly catching my face with it in the process. I mumble out a muffled exclamation of indignation. She simply lets out a whoop of exhilaration in response.

Because that’s exactly how this feels: exhilarating.

10 comments:

Alyce Haast said...

Nice, i really got caught up in the moment and felt as if i was there with them

Bri said...

I totally feel the exhilaration! Great teaser! :)

Angie said...

Ah, some great lines in here. Love the description. I can totally see it all happening. Lovely teaser!

Ellen said...

So fun and exciting! And also a little scary (I feel like a mom - omg, don't drink and drive! :P). The writing is great :)

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Good sense of "out-of-control," and that mix of exhilaration and uneasiness that can go along with that. Nice job!

Becca Cooper said...

Meep. I'm totally biting my nails here, waiting for the looming disaster. Great tease! :D

Nomes said...

Heh Heh. This made me smile. You created the atmosphere well _ i'm definitely feeling the modd between the two girls. Love the hollering and you really do capture the exhilaration.

And, cool name. I had a friend called Cherry in high school :)

Sage said...

Whee, this was fun

Vee said...

AWESOME atmosphere. I was totally wrapped up in the moment with your characters.

Glen Akin said...

Loved this very much. Really, really loved this. Short and filled with life!

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