Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Teaser Tuesday {2}

It's that time of week again, Teaser Tuesday time! This snippet is once again from Red Herring, a YA contemporary mystery.

I'm kind of excited because I'm in the process of conceptualizing and fleshing out an SNI at the moment, Here Be Humans. It'll be at least a few weeks yet before there's any teasers from that though. But at the moment, it is on deck as the next project.

But anyway, back to this week. Feedback is muchly appreciated! And without further ado:
2:01 a.m.

The liquid is the gilded ochre of donkey piss.

Doesn’t taste much better either.

I vibrate the red plastic cup between my thumb and middle finger, watching the foul substance swirl in conflicting little waves.

Cherry bounces up and down on the bumper of her decade-old red Honda, shaking the car. She lifts her cup at me. “To the last day of freedom.”

I bump mine against hers overdramatically, arm looping in a wide arc. A little bit of the beverage sloshes over the lip of the cup and cascades to the pavement with a splat. “Cheers,” I mock-seriously respond fervently.

In unison we tip our cups back. The foul drink carries the heavy stench of alcohol, sliding abrasively down my throat. The aftertaste will be worse, so I force myself to keep gulping it down as if it were simply grape soda. I finish first and crumple the frail plastic between my fingers.

Cherry’s throat gleams unnaturally pale in the harsh yellow glow of the streetlamp we’re parked under. The smooth column of her jugular undulates as her subtle Adam’s apple bobs with each swallow.


Becca Rogers said...

Why do I have the feeling that something bad is about to happen? Love the descriptions! :D

Kaitlin Ward said...

Nice alcohol description. That's pretty much how I used to feel about beer LOL.

Kate Hart said...

Ugh, this whole thing made me cringe-- but in a good way, in the way it's supposed to.

Natasha said...

I love this description! Sounds great!!
Here;s mine:

Ellen said...

Blech! *makes a face* I never could chug booze like that. Great descriptions in this scene :)

dystophil said...

I love the way you use beautiful prose contrasted with words like "piss" etc. Loved the imagery here, it really drew me in :)

Bri said...

Love the description of alcohol! So realistic.

Caitlin said...

You have such a vivid imagination! This is really nicely done. I second everyone else's opinion! :D

Glen Akin said...

Yep, something's going to happen. A vamp lurking somewhere in the dark will pop out and rip that pretty neck of hers. Lol honestly, great teaser

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